In the five-minute savasana at the end of a private with Jimmy, I wrote the ending of my memoir:
I’ve lived on this planet for a really long time. And I’ve had a spectacular life. So full of heartbreak that I had no idea whether there was enough glue to put it back together…and so much joy I can barely remember the pain. But if there is one thing I would say, find someone to share your life with and do everything you can to make it work, because there is nothing more than sharing memories with the person you love so much that the sun rises and sets in them.
I have the beauty of time. I’m 54 (at least for today 😉). I can look at my life and see the pain and the joy. I feel it in my bones. And while I do not regret the choices I’ve made or the life I’ve lived, sitting here right this moment at a table in an Airbnb in the Philippines, I wish there was someone to share my bed with and to share my life.
I’ve had that before—in all its spectacularness.
(And just on the very off chance that Andy is reading this. someday… You came into my life too soon. I loved you but could not imagine building a life of any kind after losing Mark, let alone with someone new. I chose someone else because I knew it would never last. And I didn’t want anything to last. I hope you have had the most amazing life, that your photography has taken you to places most people only see in books. And know that with each Airbnb TV I cover with a sarong, I think of you. xoxo)
